


loves picnic panic!

by Ki_Ki_Chi



Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Randomness, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3621609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_Ki_Chi/pseuds/Ki_Ki_Chi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zachery, Nelly(oc),Mina(oc) just graduated from high school, not knowing what to do with there life now they go to the off kingdom ruled by the lonely king batter. They get sent by him and Zachery catches his eyes, now living in the Castile old and new enemies come there way and poor zachery having a love struck king on his ass and can he feel with the kings overprotective side and him being jello!!??</p><p> </p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my ocs!!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(Alright I just got a request from my friend to do this for her brithday so yea!!)

 

"Aww shit!!! I knew we were lost!" Yelled a girl with brown hair and skin she had her hair in a ponytail and was wearing a red sweatshirt with white shirt blue jean shorts and nee shocks and black tennis shoes.

"Oh shut up Mina I'm trying to find a way out!!!" Yelled back a girl with black hair put into pigtail, she had pale skin was wearing a pink sweater and yellow shirt with black jean short with nee shocks and black shoes.

" Nelly!! Mina!!!! Stop it dam it!! I'm trying to find a way out!!" The came out little Zachery! He was wearing his famous cat mask as he walked up to the two he grabbed there shoulders and turned them the other way.

"Now look!! A kindome good we can get some help there in the village!!" "But Zach!! We been walking for hours and I watch to many horror movies to know that once you go in there all hell breaks lose!!" "But this real life! And the town got people in it dammit so stop!!" Zachery then walks away with the girls behind him.

"Why are we even doing here anyways!?" "Well I just wanted to get out of wheel twin to much shit for my days since we graduated high school" yep about two weeks or so they did but didn't want to stay in that horrid town!! "Wheel town was a good place till people thought they were thugs and all that shit!!"

"But I thought we were going to a place with lots of people and good places!!??" "Well... We are!!" They all stop and looked over the kingdom it was huge!!! "Aww shit now that's what I'm talking about"

They all heard footsteps coming to them. They saw a guy wearing a village outfit coming to them "hello travelers!! Welcome to the kingdom of off!!" They all started to snicker "um is something the matter?" 

"Well *snicker* I knew something was OFF about thus kingdom!!" "Pfft!!! Hahahahaha!!!!" The village man looked at them angry "hey stop out I'll get the garuds on you!!" "Oh no that would be so OFFul!!!" "Hahahahaha, good one Zach!!" The village man became more angry "I'm warning you!!" "Oops sorry about my puns it should be BATTER!!!" "Hahahahaha!!!" The village man stomped away angry "hahaha! Whoa zach you need to chill somehow!!"

"He he sorry!" As they walked in they saw all the people gather around someone "and then they started making bad puns about out kingdom and king!!" "*gasp*!!" They all knew it was them so they tip-tow away to they bumped into somebody "were do ya think your going!?" "O-oh hehe well you see we were-" "HEY!!! Its that guy who made bad puns about us!!" "Get dem!!!"

"Oh shit!!" They were now running for there lives...

 

A few hours later of running and shit

"We got them!!" "Yaay!!!" Mina,Zachery, and Nelly were hanging and tied to a stick "oh too hell with all of you!!" "Mina!!!" "What!? Its true...." "Like we care mina, like we care..." "Bring them to the king!!" "Yeah!!!" 

"Oh shit I think he not gonna be happy we made bad puns about his kingdom!" "Yea!! No shit Nelly!! Were already about to burn to death with fire not tour stupidity!!" "Oh to hell with both of you...." And Zachery the looked at the crowd "and all of you!!" 

"Oh may some one help these poor kids..." A figure in the dark Saida's they were carried away by the angry mob of pun haters....


	2. oh lord no!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three bad puners meet the lonely cold king!!!

"Aye,aye,aye!!! Watch the the shoes!!" "Mina!!" "Oh can it all of you!! I just wanna go home!!" " zach, you were the one in the first place to get away..." "Shut the fuck up mina!!" 

As they were pulled into a huge throne room "aye this look nice!!!, who oh dis!?" "Me" came a booming voice full of power and coldness. They all looked up to see kin batter!!

"Guards. What have they done?" "They made bad puns about your kingdome Sir" "aye! Y'all still on dat!?" "Shut up!!" Boombed king batter as he looked at each one till one of them chuaght his eye...

"U-um...?" Batter couldn't not just look away, he saw angle....and angle he wanted...now...and badly!! "U-um, Mister king-" "let them go!!" "Eh!? But they made bad-" "I don't care!! Let them go and bring the two girl in a guest bed room and bring him into my room" the three looked scared but Zachery feared the most.

"O-ok...?" As they walked off and the king Sat there smirking...

A few hours

As the king walked into his room to see his little angle sitting there. Zachery looked up and saw batter there he jumped and ran to the window not wanting to deal all this shit!! Till two big arms grabbed him and threw him on the bed.

He then felt something on top of him and squeaked to see the king on top of him smirking " so I heard you made bad puns about my kingdom right?" "Y-yea..." "Well I think you deserve a pu-" "aww hell naw!! First of all that's just cheesy!! Second we only met!! And third I'm not that kind of person to have a one night stand with!!"

Batter stood shock with Zacherys altitude which made him fall in love more "well how about this I'll buy you, and your friends but you mostly" "oh what!? Sorry, but me and my friends asses are cost more then what you have!!" Batter was now ferious.

"Oh so your calling me poor huh!?" He then threw a bunch of credits in the air "try me!!" Zachary was now scared 'oh shit he got money!!' Batter then smirk "if you want I can make you my sex slave~" "nooo!!" "Good!"

Back to mina and Nelly

"Aw man why we go to be here I mean zach is somewhere in danger!!" "I know mina but for now I'm tried so g'night" "yea.." And pretty soon they fell asleep

Back with the king and Zachery!

Batter looked over at his angle to see him sleeping soundly which made him smile a little 'don't worry my little angle you and your friends will like it here..'...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness!!! My friend loved it and said best b-day present ever!! So yea I'm continuing guys weather it takes a million years!!!
> 
> I don't own anything except my oc!!!


	3. what friends are for!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> √(-_-√) find out yourselfs  
>  √ √

"Why!?!?" Zachary was now in the dinner room with Mina and Nelly who were hungry as hell "I want to eat now!!!" "But slow ass king taking a long time!!" "I'm going to die!!!" Zachary then heard the door open to show a angry king batter "oh hey" "don't hey me!!!" "What!?" "Look just do me a favor and just eat!!" "Jeez OK!" Zachery then began to eat not wanting to talk anymore

"Aye Zach!? What about your friend!?" "Huh?" "You know sawuko!" "Oh hell naw don't talk about her!!" " what because-" "shush the king ya dump ass's!!" The trio looked at the king to see him more madder "oh.. Opps" the trio eat there food quickly and left running

Into the gardens "oh shit he looked mad!!" "Yea no shit!!!" "Why is he so paranoid!?" "I don't know!!" "Well what are we going to do, I mean were bought by the king because Zach made fun of him with bad puns!!" "Hey!!! Fuck you!!" " and now life's a troll" "indeed" as they both sat down in the middle of the garden and layed down they looked up the bright blue sky "hey reamber we used to do this when we had a bad day at school?" "Hahahaha!!" "Yea.."

 

Flash back time!!!

 

The trio looked up at the sky with wonder and all there pain and fear was away " man we should do this more often!!" " yea..." "Hey after this.... Do you wanna throw expired milk on Jessica and her bitches?" "Hell yea!!" "Sure!!!"

End of flash back!!! Aww \\(T.T\\)

 

The trio were having a good time but didn't know something was there watching them 

"You little basterds I'll get you on what you have done!!! I'll have my sexy king batter and the kingdom!!!" "Hey!!" The figure stopped and looked at a little kid "dafuq!!?? Who are you hoe!?" "Oh to hell with you kid!!".....

"Oh were was I?.... Oh yea HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" But the figure got hit by a boot "shut your fucking noodle head bitch!!!".....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ......shit I got nothing!!!


	4. were all in this together~!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh you know how the song gose!!!

Zachery felt a tap on his shoulder and looked around to see Mina holding a something "its time!?" "Yes..." They the dramatically walk to the ball room were Nelly was at "dose the king know?" "No but it are secret so let's have fun~" Mina the but the....radio on the ground and "bam let's do this!!" "Aaaaalright!!!"

" to gather, to gather, to gather, all for one!!"

"To gather,to gather, to gather all for one!!!"

"Were all in this together once we know what we are and are lives and are dreams come!!"

"Were in this together once we know what we are and are lives and are dreams come truuuuu~!!!! AYE!!!"

"To gather, to gather, all for one!!"

"To gather, to gather, to gather all for one~!!!" 

"Were all in this together once we know what we are and are lives and are dreams come!!"

"Were all in this together once we know what we are and are lives, and are dreams come truuuu!!!"

"Aye what's all that noise!?!?"

"Oh shit!!"

"Run for it!!"

"Together!!!"

"AYE!!!"

Sorry this chapter short but aye you gotta love that song!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were all in this together once know what we are and are dreams come~ were all in this together once we know what were and are dreams come truuuuu~ 
> 
>  
> 
> Yea!!!!


	5. I'll be waiting for u at da door!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio find themselves in a bad rush when an old enemy comes back trys to stee l Zacherys batter!!

The trio looked at the girl with disgust there old enemy Jessica!! Her brown long hair reached her middle back she wore an slutty outfit, the way she was looking at the king and Zachery felt mad every second " what da fuq are you going here!?!" " well I'm here to marry the king of course!" "What!? The king don't want your whore ass!!" "Yea!! And he's gay!!"

"But I'm sexy to make a gay man go straight!!" The made Zachery even more mad!! "Look here bitch I'm nor afraid to kill or hit a girl!! So step da fuck up before I slice your hair off like I did to yuka!!" And with that Zachery left...

A few hours

It was dinner and everybody came to the diner room "so king I was wondering what do you think of me?" Everybody looked at Jessica like she was crazy and batter too! " well to my looks you look like a whore" "pfft!! Hahahaha!!!" Jessica glared at the trio as they laughed there ass's off "but I thought you wouldn't say that to your new wife!" Everyone spit out there drinks and food "what!?!? Why would I choose as my wife I mean come on I could do so much better!!" "Hahahaha Im dead!!" 

"B-but I'm good in bed!!" "It dosn't matter weather your good or bad in bed!! Its your looks, personality, and how that way you act!! Now get the fuck out of my kingdom whore!!" "Oh I see you still ain't over the Queen!!" Everyone stood silent and gasp "I am indeed not over her but I found new love and it ain't you!!" "Oh and who will that be!?" "My angle and light.... Zachery" " *gasp!!!*" everyone stood shock but mostly Zachery who was blushing mad and good still...

"S-so the rumors are true... You are gay!!" "Yea.." "Well it ain't the end!!!" Jessica got up and went to Zachery and slap him "and you bitch!! Die in a fucking fire like your parents!!" The trio gasp Zachery looked shock and angry and sad... He got up and looked at the girls "hey wanna do it like old times?" "Hell yea!!" The trio grabbed Jessica and threw here on the ground and start beating her up.

And the song "were all in this together" came on randomly

Batter looked ant Zachery with love and lust in his eyes if he had any.... And everyone else just canted "fuck that trix!!!"...

So on that day jessica learned the hard way on taking Zacherys man...

The end~ (~^0^)~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ms.foxy any one?


	6. April fools day!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know it!

Max and trixi looked at the twin with evil smirks "see now this day is gonna get wild!!" "I know!! Who should we prank first!!??" " mmm? How about.... Amber and Jessica!!" "Ohh shit!! Its gonna get good!!" "Let's go I already go a plan!!"

A few hours

The girls set up straps and traps and looked at the girls when they came in "what are you little shits doing here!?!?" "Oh just waiting for Ozzy and drixs to come.." "Pfft like they ever want your sad ass!!" As the girls went inside they heard scream and max and Trixi came running and bust out laughing

The girl were covered with snot "omg!!" "What the fuck!??" "Hahahaha this is what you get for fucking with us!!" As the girls heard the door opened to revealed everyone and ozzy and drixs.

Both max and Trixi walked off into the side to not get seen.

"What the hell happened!?" "Those little-" but amber stopped when she looked to she them not there anymore "what- I tho-" "come on girls let's get you clean up" 

Max and Trixi ran down the streets laughing and singing

Max: I hope that hoes learned her place when it came to fucking with me!!

Trixi: cus you see, I'm Santa Claus to these bitches!! Without a reindeer!!

Max: and I'm speed, threw them hoes! They some fake bitches!!

Trixi: how I know it!? Because I did it and made it!! So ya bitches know who da fuq I am!!

Max: I'm Santa Claus to these bitches, without a reindeer!!

Both: cus you know it!! And I can dig it!! Real hard! So lets go ima show your place!!

And both girls felt happy that day..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you pranked the shit out of some one guys!!


	7. meet the goddess!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the goddess of rain and the goddess of fall come to complaine, the trio happens to know them and batter wont stop his anger if sawuko keeps touching Zachery!?

Mina,Nelly, and Zachery look at the girls unfazed " oh hey guys, didn't know u were coming" then Zachery felt something push him to the ground "zachy!!! Its been so long!!" Suwako hugged Zachery tighter "u-um suwa-san please let go!!" "Oops sorry!!" Batter watched with an angry expression, he didn't like that girl touching his angle!!! Zachery got up and felt suwako looking at him with 'wanna fly!?' Expression "sure!" Suwako jumped in joy "all three of you!!" All of them nod and go outside and took deep breaths when batter and the others came outside to see what they were doing.

"Alright, you guys ready?" "Hell yea!!" "Sure!" " then what da fuq we waiting for let's go!!" As suwako got Zacheryz back he then began to feel something warm on his back and he heard a lot of gasp and then he he flew off into the sky with his angle wings spreading.

"Yaaay!! Go faster!!" "If you say.." Then he went faster (god that sounds wrong!!) He then seen Nelly and mina flying into the Sky's "hey guys I think we should get back!!" "Well..." "There having cake this dinner" "oh hell yes!!" 

They all went back and to see shock faces on the people "oh we forgot to tell you we work with suwako and mioma were there angles in training.." Suwako got off of Zachery and looked to see mioma giving her the look of 'explain..' "OK so how your wondering? Well when they were young we were friends with there familys, but when they died we too them in and made have happy life's but back then then were dying so we waited till they died and made them are angles who helped us then..."

Zachery didn't like talking about his whole death thing but hey it had to come out some way... He then felt a hug from behind and looked to see suwako "hey sorry if you didn't want to talk about it..." "Naw it's ok..." He then walked inside and went to his room... "W-whats wrong with him?" "Well he ain't having a man period is all I can tell..."

In Zacherys/batters room

 

Zachery felt himself drift into sleep and that's when the dream began....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I didn't feel like discribing them look them up on touhou wiki


	8. holy fucking potato!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio put on a play for the king and Jessica comes and trys her best to be sexy but it ain't gonna work out...

Zachery looked down because Jessica was the lead role and with her hoeness he knew she was after batter. As the play was about the began the girls helped Zachery in the back of the tower as they got up the stairs "alright look Jessica is not gonna win this one!! Because I have a plan!" Said Mina who looked she was about to cut a bitch.

"Ohhh! Tell me!?" "Well Jessica is up there and Zachery will go and push her and BAM!!! She fall and hit her head and the show can go on without her!!" "I like it, but why me!?" "Cus I said so!!" "Alright the curtains are opening go Zach!!" Zachary went up the stairs and saw Jessica talking to the king saying all things a bitch that want yo dick.

He got up and push Jessica who screamed and fell and hit her head. But the horror just started! Jessica who was a hoe did not wear any panties today and her lower regions were showing..

Nobody said nothing till Zachary screamed

"Ahhhhhhhhh, holy ajdbdjdndkdnd!!!!!!!"

Everybody stared screaming parents trying to cover there kids eyes, men who were not gay stared in disgust and women who kept shaking there heads like they were just dissaponted.

And batter looked like he was about the throw up. Zachery came out and yelled "see kids this is the main reason why we wear undergarments!" And left not wanting to see anymore. " hahahaha!!! Holy shit I got a picture and it surely gonna get popular!!

The trio looked at minas phone to see the picture as a meme saying ' you know a hoe, when you see one..'

"Hahahaha!!!" "Shit let's get out here...!!" The trio walked out anf Zachery felt him being pulled into a hug "hey I missed you..." "Yea hoped you enjpy the the show batter..." "Hell naw!! Jessica really need to do something to that!!" "I know!!" As they both walked away Zachery then felt himself blush.

Did he really love the king!? I mean come on sure he gets jelly over shit but this time.... He really felt that they can make it.. In a unknown reason...

Aye, who gives a fuck anyways!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't update soon!!


End file.
